i put my soul in what i do

if i could do anything right now
just anything

I would go back to when I was about 9 years old and run in the backyard with my cat Drifter, calling her a name that I had read in a book which meant 'weasel' (neither the name or the title can I remember) and drown in the ecstasy of pretend.
in the reality of such pretending.

I was wild and covered in purple mulberry endocarp, but I didn't know what it was called then. I didnt care for classification or cladograms. I could imagine the world as a forest, I could be out there for hours and that was all that mattered.

If I could be any song,
just any song
I would be 'When I Grow Up' by Fever Ray. It is full of moaning confession, reaching down to a true human root, a steady beat, quiet howls. It sings of future, with synths and electronic air yet it bleeds mulberry purple
it is soursweet, just ripe enough. I pretend this whole world is a forest.
'waiting for it to come back to me'