Radio War

for an hour and
a half, I struggle with static and pinch
voices out of the river.
How can I explain why?
Maybe because the night was less cold as
it has been, and without the means of communication
this is how to reach out
silently from the other end.

The Tibetan lama spoke of the three energies
rising from the chakras of real human organs,
ah om hung
for the body speech and mind.
And in time I might understand these mantras
and know we are all connected.

Forget the lessons set in stone -
I have learned to accept loss forever
as I stare towards the Ohio
three months later.
On the other side of the state line, drinking rain
from the turned leaves of a maple tree
is like dreaming of infinity.
Not where you take your life with razors and
a bottle of whiskey,
Oh to be allergic to the world that birthed you -
to see only a pale land with deadly bees,
rising angrily from coke cans in the hot streets.

What I learned today beats all -
that we are human beings and therefore fooled by art,
i am hypnotized and drunk
off music and weaving words -
yes if only to forget.
And yes, how foolish I truly am. Where the beast sees only paint,
what is really there,
my mind warps watercolors into worlds vast and
evergreen.
"To evergreens!" we toast. To a symbol of everlasting
life.
I am baking this night in the oven, with sugar and yeast.
To say the least, i want to consume these shadows
that lie inbetween.
the word only,
for i do not wish to turn again
i do not wish
i do not wish to turn.