thoughts while drinking a coke topless on my bathroom floor

i was left with the feeling that reality is what you make it
shivers went through my whole being,
the wind, the everything.
if we never had doubts,
i doubt we would ever have convictions.

is it strange that my two favorite songs
have nothing in common?
I fear fear and failure
that i could end up nowhere
and not even know.

two new bands that include the word bear,
i'm not wearing my own underwear.

i want joy to be the death of me.
and not to sit in my car crying
for no god damn reason

i've gotten good at doing things alone,
shows, movies, park swings, smoking
funneling caffine,
but not sleeping - i do most anything
to not go home.

yeah yeah yeah